I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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