I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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