And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
