Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
