Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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