omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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