Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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