If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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