i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
