Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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