there's paper in my vomit.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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