did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
God, I missed his penis.
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