i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
