I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
