No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Bring me that man meat
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
