plz talk dirty to me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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