it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
