He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
