They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
