After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize