It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
