glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
