Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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