So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
