that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
