Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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