After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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