i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
my poor anus
Randomize
