the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
