I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
