Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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