So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
