what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
