I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
