he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
