never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
