careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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