Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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