DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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