Can i not drive my cunt home
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize