I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
