i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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