You're earring is so big in my mouth
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
