So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize