Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
