Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Blood and glitter go together right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
