Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize