make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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