It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
