I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
