So drunk its hurt
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
