he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
