I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
