New low: just hacked my moms facebook
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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