and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
