We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
